"I form good habits and become their slave." Perhaps IF i say this 100x a day I will actually start to?
I read this 3x a day, I reflect, I manifest, I prepare for my day ahead before bed I set small goals so I can build trust and confidence with myself and the last 2 weeks.... I set up goals and did not hit them. I stay up til 130am to get my reading done, I honour the phone rule for an hour b4 bed and all the other things we do but not my little wee goals... not my brilliant opportunity to sit and explore my genius mind? Self sabotage. Really, I mean my goal last week was to wash my beautiful car.. and I didn't make the time to do that. :( The week before I was to plant garlic and Kale in my winter garden, and I didn't do that. WHy is it that when I make a commitment to anyone else, anyone else, I fulfill it and allow myself to be last and often do not keep my word with myself? This is a big deal. " I will cause others to believe in me because I will believe in them and in myself" What's up with the myself part? Honestly, this is my homework for this week- I want to create a new habit of keeping the commitments I make to myself!
.... 4 days later
I am feeling over whelmed. I suck at not having an opinion, missed the last webinar and will be in Vegas for the next one. I am behind in my role as President in toastmasters, I am behind in follow ups for my personal calls, I am behind in my coach calls, I am behind with my Ladies in Power paperwork and marketing, I am behind in my house work, I did not do my small goal last week, I have not set my new goal yet for this week, I have done more than an hour every day of reading and still have fallen terribly behind- not in the loop for what is due this week and really feel like crap. Can't remember ever feeling so stressed, behind or lost. Perfectionist? Yup AND my character and reputation are everything and being tried this week!! Ahhhhh!!
The speed reading has only caused me to have to reread everything because I have digested nothing in 2 weeks trying to do it- and although she said it's normal I am missing the content and that is probably not normal. Perhaps I could practice on a romance novel or something that would not matter if I got it or not :0
Frustrated and not quitting.
Meeka
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